Books about Foxworthy from Amazon.com

In this hilarious collection of poems, comedian Jeff Foxworthy creates a neighborhood filled with fun, family, friends, and more. Here you'll meet Cousin Lizzy, Uncle Ed and Aunt Foo Foo, cows with horns that don't go beep, dads in sweaters, also sheep. From the thrill of flying to the imaginary planet Woosocket to bonding with a friend over a shared hatred of spinach, these poems capture the very essence of being a kid.

Filled with sly humor and always affectionate, Dirt on My Shirt is sure to delight kids, big and little, everywhere.

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Price: $7.90 [Notify me when price goes down.]

As a longtime golfer, Jeff Foxworthy has learned something important about the grand auld game: It’s not who has the highest score, it’s who has the least fun playing it. And now, in his hilarious primer How to Really Stink at Golf, Foxworthy shares his invaluable tips for a lifetime of horrible drives and putts.

• Get into the right frame of mind to play truly awful golf. Food poisoning or a killer hangover might be just the ticket to a robust three-digit score.

• Try to get to the course promptly at tee time to avoid the hassle of warming up: “You’re only gonna hit five good shots in the course of the day; why waste even one on the driving range?”

• The surefire way to screw up a great drive? As you walk to the tee, keep telling yourself, “Don’t screw up your drive.” If bad golf’s your goal, stress is your best friend.

• Avoid fun. “Fun = relaxed = low scores . . . and that’s something we want to avoid at all cost. If you have a good hole, shake it off.”

• Perhaps the most important element: Embrace the fact that you do stink at golf.

Cheating. Cursing. Avoiding fairways. Reckless cart driving. How to Really Stink at Golf covers it all, from selecting the correct putter to use on a 385-yard drive to prolonging your stay in the sand trap to picking the perfect foursome for spectacularly bad golf (“you, your ex-wife, your girlfriend, your wife”). With Jeff Foxworthy as your guide, even a scratch golfer can add ten, twenty, maybe thirty strokes to his or her score–and possibly more if you attempt to play the back nine, too..
Price: $7.64 [Notify me when price goes down.]

Hey, you! The one holding the book. Have you ever seen a volume like this? Well, whether you realize it or not, it’s the one you’ve been waiting for. Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary will teach you how to speak this unique Southern dialect fluently. Whether you’re blue-collar or hoity-toity, swimming in cash or betting your bottom dollar, a little bit country or a lot of city slicker, this practical reference to redneck words and turns of phrases will give you hours of laughs.
So expand your horizons and learn another language with this fun, instructive, and hilariously illustrated book as your guide. After all, speaking redneck is a heck of a lot easier than speaking French!


From the Hardcover edition..
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Jeff Foxworthy clearly knows how to talk gooder redneck, especially after two runaway bestsellers on the subject But for those folks who still need to get in touch with their inner redneck, here’s the third handy reference with even more indigenous idiomatic ingenuity. With Jeff as your guide, you’ll get all the finer points of speaking proper redneck. Here’s your chance to pep up your parlance by learning how to use words and phrases like

an• ar• chist (an-ar-kist´), conj., n., and v. additionally, having pressed one’s lips to another’s as an expression of affection or sensual desire. “Anarchist her ma, anarchist her sister, anarchist her gramma, anarchist her other sister, anarchist her other other sister, and then her dad walked in and . . .”

i• Pod(í-päd), n. and v. a personal reference to having groped or roughly handled another person or an object. “IPod her for about twenty minutes before I realized she was my mother-in-law.”

uri• nal (yer-en-el), n. and v. a declaration concerning the current status or location of the person being spoken to. “If you think urinal lot of trouble now, just wait till Daddy gets home.”

No matter where you hail from, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary III will make you sound like you were born far below the Mason-Dixon line. So shove aside that extra roll of single-ply to make space for this book in your family’s reading room, because three is definitely the charm..
Price: $0.94 [Notify me when price goes down.]

The Redneck Don't Fall Far from the Tree celebrates the loving bond between fathers and their children Bonds such as:

You might be a redneck if . . .

• Your dad walks you to school because you are in the same grade.
• Your dad encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening at the lube rack.
• Beer bellies run in your family.

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You might be a redneck if…

• Your mother has ever been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
• Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
• Hail hits your house and you have to take it to the body shop for an estimate
• You know how many bails of hay your car can hold.
• You view the upcoming family reunion as a chance to meet women.

You Might Be A Redneck If… has sold more than one million copies and is in its 30th printing. Originally published in 1989, this humor classic has spawned numerous sequels, comedy albums and television specials.

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Price: $2.60 [Notify me when price goes down.]

Based on the hit TV show, the Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? 2009 Calendar will help you find out how much knowledge you've retained from your childhood. With subjects ranging from science to math, spelling to world history, and social studies to grammar, the questions in this calendar are taken from actual classroom curriculum used by 1st through 5th grade students in school. This day-to-day calendar provides daily doses of challenging questions that prove not all of us remember what we learned in elementary school and that some of us are NOT smarter than a 5th grader!.
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Clearly one redneck dictionary was not enough. And it’s no wonder. The South is positively bursting at the seams with colorful words and turns of phrases in this distinct dialect. Now men and women from all across this great land can further fine-tune their fluency and showcase their confidence when speaking to folks who hail from below the Mason-Dixon line. Need a crash course in this truly inspired lingo? Well, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary II puts the “vern” in “vernacular,” offering up a veritable gumbo of must-be-known selections:

infamy (in’fe-mé) adv. and n.another person’s intent to exact physical punishment. “Ever since I stole his girlfriend, Bobby’s had it infamy.”

assassin (e-sas’-en) v. to disrespect verbally. “Don’t just stand there assassin me, boy–go clean your room!”

honor student (än’-er stu’-dent) prep. and n.to be positioned over, and supported by, a pupil. “Yeah, I knew piano lessons after midnight was weird, but I still didn’t suspect nothin’ till I caught her honor student.”

So open your ears and activate your funny bone with this hilarious, practical, and playfully illustrated reference. It’s like having your very own personal dialect coach–one who doesn’t mind getting picked up and read and laughed at and passed along to friends.


From the Hardcover edition..
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Everyone knows the phrase "A man's home is his castle." Does that statement ring true even if:

You removed your bathroom door so you could watch TV from the commode?

The directions to your house include 'turn off the paved road'?

You spray painted your dead shrubbery green?

Any redneck will tell you that, of course, it is true. So whether you live in a double wide or have hit the big time with a ranch with one and a half baths, Redneck Extreme Mobile Home Makeover will make you laugh at the way some of us, I mean, some of you live such as:

You Might Be A Redneck if…

Your yard has ever been the proposed site for a landfill.

You think orange peels left on the coffee table are potpourri.

The garbage truck mistakenly takes your lawn furniture.

Someone knocks on your front door and your back door rattles.

Your most expensive piece of art is held up with thumbtacks.

You have to mow around a refrigerator and a bed frame.

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You Might Be A Redneck if…

• You use a fishing license as a form of I.D.
• Your screen door has no screen.
• You've been on TV more than once describing what the tornado sounded like.
• You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time.
• You ever waved at traffic form your front porch wearing just your underwear.

Containing more than 2,000 entries with more than 200 illustrations, You Might Be A Redneck if…This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read will be a must-own book for die-hard fans of Jeff Foxworthy. Creatively packaged and attractively priced, this book also features more than 1,500 entries that have never been published in book form.

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Price: $3.78 [Notify me when price goes down.]