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Dr. Laura Schlessinger agrees that there are things worth whining about! A certain amount of whining allows for some venting of reasonable pain, disappointment, fear, frustration, or frank rage. However, staying stuck in whining mode can become a life-long problem. This is where Dr. Laura steps in with Stop Whining, Start Living to help folks conquer the temptation to retreat from living life to the fullest.

As she reveals in her introduction, "No matter what you've suffered or continue to suffer, while you are alive you have the opportunity to get something from this life, and I'm going to do my best to help you with that. . . . I know of what I speak, as this has been my torturous journey also." Building on the principles developed during her long career as a licensed marriage and family therapist, and addressing the chronic struggles of so many of her listeners and readers, Dr. Laura issues an important message in the no-nonsense but compassionate voice that is her trademark: If you don't like your life, quit talking about your unhappiness and try to fix it, no matter how difficult or impossible your situation seems.

While it is healthy to vent occasionally, endless rumination on the negative only keeps you paralyzed in misery, reinforces hopelessness, and demoralizes those around you who feel helpless to bring any happiness into your life. Instead, Stop Whining, Start Living encourages "whiners" to reject negative thoughts, emotions, and attitudes; shift perspective; open up to gratitude and goodness; and embrace obligations to loved ones and the world in general. Before long, just doing what you're supposed to be doing--instead of moaning about why you can't or won't or shouldn't fulfill your responsibilities--will have you feeling better about yourself and will uplift your interactions with family, friends, colleagues, and even complete strangers in incredible ways.

Illustrated by calls and letters from members of Dr. Laura's huge international audience, Stop Whining, Start Living features brave testimonials from real human beings facing real challenges. These folks have benefited enormously from Dr. Laura's powerful lessons.

Stop Whining, Start Living gives readers stuck in their suffering the jump start they need to break out of reactive mode and get proactive, moving in the direction of a joyful, meaningful, happy, fulfilling, and purposeful future. Everyone can use a kick in the pants sometimes, and Dr. Laura, who "preaches, teaches, and nags" to millions every day on her radio program, is here to deliver it!

Questions for Dr. Laura

Question: How and why does whining get in the way of living?

Dr. Laura: Whining as an immediate response to any sort of pain (physical, psychological, emotional, interpersonal) is normal and potentially helpful since venting helps get us some loving and supportive attention which "softens the blow." Staying in whining mode makes us ignore options for repair or growth and interferes with us squeezing joy out of every precious day.

Question:Stop Whining, Start Living assures readers that change is possible with commitment and willpower. But what can people do to break the habit of suffering?

Dr. Laura: Solutions to serious problems don't always have to be…well…serious! I have had people on the line who I've made sing and/or dance while live on the radio. It is almost impossible to be sad while "movin' to the music"! I've told listeners to turn on their radios or iPods to whatever music moves them (for me it is oldies rock) for fifteen minutes. Distraction and physicality do a lot to alleviate a negative mood. From there folks need to move into being a blessing unto others.

Question: Is it ever okay to whine? If so, for how long and under what circumstances?

Dr. Laura: As I wrote in Stop Whining, Start Living, I reserve the right to whine about some frustration, disappointment or assault for between one and four days max. After that I've become boring to myself and everyone around me. Constant whining takes full attention, which means you can't smell the roses. And, I only whine to someone who cares, will be sympathetic, and who will then help me get goin' again.

Question: When's the last time you, Dr. Laura, had a whining episode and how did you snap out of it?

Dr. Laura: It was just the other day! I got some thoroughly aggravating news and stomped around whining for a couple of hours. What always sets me straight is turning on my microphone. Why? Because for three hours each weekday I get to help people do and be better in their lives. I hear the respect and trust they've developed for me after months or years of listening to my program. I hear the switch snap in their brains as they "get" what it is they have to do or be to improve their lives. I hear the gratitude for my service. All of that is humbling and reboots my attitude. I am grateful to be of service and that more than makes up for whatever annoyance plagued my day. I also go sailing or take a power hike with my dog, BeBe.

Question: What can a person gain from giving up complaining?

Dr. Laura: I always tell folks that it is a dear shame to not enjoy a great plate of spaghetti and meatballs because you're disappointed in the number of meatballs. You gain dinner!

Question:The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage, your last bestseller, dealt with all the forces undermining today's marriages and the kind, loving actions, thoughts and behaviors at the core of every successful partnership. How does Stop Whining, Start Living build upon this foundation?

Dr. Laura:Stop Whining, Start Living doesn't build upon the foundation of The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage--it IS the foundation. To look at your spouse and see some things that annoy you and focus in on only those aspects of their being and your relationship is marriage and spouse abuse! To see some things that annoy you and to say to yourself, "Small price to pay to have someone to love and to love me," is to stop whining and start loving.

Question: You advise readers to just say `no' to hurt feelings. What do you mean?

Dr. Laura: Upset feelings can lead us to behaviors of either retaliation, self-abuse or perpetual negative rumination--if you let them. Any of those behaviors feed back into growing those upset feelings and letting them take solid root. The term "acceptance" seems so incomprehensible to so many people. Acceptance means that you stop fighting "it". When people call in their 30's and 40's still complaining that some parent, friend, or relative isn't giving/doing what they'd like…I tell them it is time to stop being surprised that an alligator isn't friendly in the bathtub. It's an alligator--and that's how alligators behave. Meanwhile, the new lovely people and circumstances of their lives are lower priority because they're still fighting for the "old stuff" to miraculously change--as though that would really make any true difference in their lives. I tell them to let go of their end of the tug-of-war and walk away towards what is and can be..
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In her most provocative book yet, Dr. Laura urgently reminds women that to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they yearn for in marriage.

Women want to be in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Yet disrespect for men and disregard for the value, feelings, and needs of husbands has fast become the standard for male-female relations in America. Those two attitudes clash in unfortunate ways to create struggle and strife in what could be a beautiful relationship.

Countless women call Dr. Laura, unhappy in their marriages and seemingly at a loss to understand the incredible power they have over their men to create the kind of home life they yearn for. Now, in The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura shows you—with real-life examples and real-life solutions—how to wield that power to attain all the sexual pleasure, intimacy, love, joy, and peace you want in your life.

Dr. Laura's simple principles have changed the lives of millions. Now they can change yours.

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Dr. Laura Schlessinger is the incredibly popular and controversial psychotherapist who hosts a nationally syndicated, top-rated midday radio talk show. She has strong convictions and doesn't hesitate to voice them to callers. She urges women emphatically to lose a domineering jerk of a lover and pick one of the "good guys," to stay home and parent the babies they've made, and to follow the dream rather than some dreamboat. Above all, she exhorts women not to blame anybody or anything but themselves if they're unhappy and their lives seem a mess.

10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives uses real-world examples from Schlessinger's radio show and private practice to drive the message home. And the message is that our reticence to be bold and brave often makes us act like stupid, submissive victims. Once we muster the courage to take responsibility for our own problems and to tolerate the discomforts of risk, the possibilities for personal growth and joy are limitless.

If you're looking for an all-approving hand to hold, you won't find it here. If you're prepared to take a clear-eyed look at your self-diminishing behavior and to make the move to a quality existence, there's no one better than Schlessinger to keep you honest and to cheer you on. One thing's for sure: You'll never look at your relationships, behaviors and decisions the same way after you've finished reading this book..
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With her characteristically pointed advice and take-no-prisoners attitude, Dr. Laura's book Bad Childhood - Good Life tackles one of the most basic questions of therapy: How can a person effectively move past the injuries of a bad childhood? Her answer will be familiar to her fans—look at your current behavior and modify what you can change rather than simply venting your anger or allowing yourself to ever be victimized again.

Forget about simply accepting or forgiving your parents for their errors—Dr. Laura extols the virtues of conquering. Through excerpts from her radio show and letters from her listeners, she illustrates her points about guilt, anger and fear in personalized accounts from individuals. Short lists and question/answer sections make for an easy read that allows you to smoothly fast forward and backtrack to the topics you find most relevant at the moment—and numerous references to other chapters and her website provide all the additional information you could want. Faith is a subtle but definite component; some readers will find it the most helpful part of the book while it decidedly won't appeal to others.

Not everyone will agree with—or appreciate--her succinct manner that drives right to the root of issues. Like her show, the book presents absolutes rather than possible alternatives. For readers looking for a definitive method for moving past childhood issues, Dr. Laura might offer the solution. Jill Lightner.
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In this important book, Dr. Laura Schlessinger shows men and women that they can have a Good Life no matter how Bad their Childhood

For each of us, there is a connection between our early family dynamics and experiences and our current attitudes and decisions. Many of the people Dr. Laura has helped did not realize how their histories impacted their adult lives, or how their choices in people, repetitive situations, and decisions -- even their emotional reactions -- were connected to those early negative experiences, playing a major role in their current unhappiness.

For these people and millions like them, too much time is dedicated to repeating the ugly dynamics of childhood in a vain attempt to repair or cope with deep hurt and longings. Too often they use their emotional pain to control others or excuse their own inappropriate and destructive behaviors. Some turn to therapy, only to find themselves trapped in their self-pitying victim mode, robbed of optimism, confidence, and growth.

Dr. Laura will help you realize that no matter what circumstances you came from or currently live in, you are ultimately responsible for how you react to them. The acceptance of this basic truth is the source of your power to secure the Good Life you long for. In her signature straightforward style, with real-life examples, Dr. Laura shows you what you will gain by not being satisfied with an identity as a victim, or even as a survivor -- but striving to be a victor!

In Bad Childhood -- Good Life, Dr. Laura will guide you to accept the truth of the assaults on your psyche and soul, understand your unique coping style and how it impacts your daily thoughts and actions, and help you embrace a life of more peace and happiness.

Bad Childhood -- Good Life comes from a compassionate and personal place. Dr. Laura also reveals some of her own experiences with a difficult childhood and what efforts it took to attain a Good Life. She writes, "My resilience has paid off, and I'm doing the best I can with what I've got." Now you can, too.

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In the long-awaited follow-up to her groundbreaking, million-copy bestseller The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura now focuses on how men and women need to understand and appreciate the uniqueness of masculinity and femininity; what the best ways to relate, caretake, and nurture each other are; and how to bring a marriage back from the brink of disaster.

Dr. Laura asserts that in order to produce and sustain a wonderfully satisfying marriage, spouses must recognize and appreciate the polarity between the masculine and the feminine. Both husband and wife have power in the relationship, and each needs to realize this in order to ensure personal satisfaction. Using real-life examples from her call-in radio show, and giving real-life solutions, Dr. Laura focuses on the typical mistakes made by men and women in their relationships and shows how marriages can not only survive but thrive.

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Everything will be okay ... once you admit that Dr. Laura's always right. This companion volume to the radio advice factory's 1994 bestseller (which tackled the stupid things women do) serves up plenty of the no-nonsense, old-fashioned morality that her legions of listeners love. Brutally reductive--but not necessarily wrong--this book chalks up men's problems to trying to save "damsels in distress," refusing to admit to a healthy dependence on others, climbing the career ladder to the detriment of your relationships, denying the duty and pleasure of child-rearing, and many others. Whatever your personal reaction to her brassy, unapologetic style, Dr. Schlessinger is a refreshing antidote to the wishy-washy "everything's relative and everyone's different" trend that held sway for a time. Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess up Their Lives contains a lot of good advice--even though it has as much in common with instant soup mix as with therapy..
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Following her previous New York Times bestsellers, Dr.Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses an issue near and dear to her heart: the stupid things parents do to mess up their children Never one to shy away from tough truths, Dr. Laura marshals compelling evidence for the widespread neglect of America's children and convincingly condemns the numerous rationalizations to excuse it. These are just a few of her hard-hitting points:

• Don't Have Them If You Won't Raise Them: "The cavalier manner in which our society treats child care, not as a matter of intimacy and love, but as a matter of convenience and economics, is deeply destructive to our children's sense of attachment, identity, and importance."
• Dads Need Not Apply: "Single motherhood may be more acceptable to society, but it is not acceptable to children; nor is it in their best interest."
• Brave New Baby: "In our society, reproductive freedom means anyone can decide to create a life by any means with no, and I mean no, consideration of what is in the best interest of that new human being."
• Spare the Rod: "Children without discipline often become adults with tempertantrums, defiance, rage, depression, anxiety, poor school and work adjustment, drug and alcohol abuse."

Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids covers all aspects of parenting and also tackles such cultural and societal concerns as abortion, modern sexuality, drug and alcohol use, violence, discipline, and a child's right to privacy..
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Her broad statements like "the feminist movement has become hostile to heterosexual relationships in general" and her tendency to react to callers in anger may offend, but if you can put aside her ratings-boosting fits of temper, you'll find some solid advice in 10 Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships. While Dr. Laura Schlessinger excels at placing blame, her bluntness can be refreshing, and with chapter titles like "stupid priorities," "stupid egotism," and "stupid liaisons," you know right where she stands on issues like career commitment, perceived selfishness, and extramarital relationships.

Much of the book has been created from letters written by listeners of her show. These personal anecdotes are used to illustrate points and provide examples we can all relate to; given their tremendous variety, you're sure to find some that click with you. They make the book an easily absorbed read and provide a welcome break from Schlessinger's angry tirades on premarital sex, addiction, and the general "stupidity" of the human race. Behind her anger, you'll find suggestions on taking time to really listen to each other, ways to respect each other's needs without catering to selfishness, and a firm belief that relationships are nearly always worth saving. --Jill Lightner.
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