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10 Books That Screwed Up the World: And 5 Others That Didn't Help
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Screwed Up Life of Charlie The Second
Being Charles James Stewart, Jr. AKA Charlie the Second means never "fitting in." Tall, gangly and big-eared, he could be the poster boy for teenage geeks. An embarrassment to his parents (he's not to crazy about them, either), Charlie is a virtual untouchable at his school, where humiliation is practically an extra curricular activity. Charlie has tried to fit in, but all of his efforts fall on a glorious, monumental scale. He plays soccer--mainly to escape his home life--but isn't accepted by his teammates who basically ignore him on the field. He still confuses the accelerator with the brake pedal and has failed his driving exam six times. He can't work on his college application essay without writing a searing tell-all. But what's freaking Charlie out the most is that while his hormones are raging and his peers are pairing off, he remains alone with his fantasies. But all of this is about to change when a new guy at school begins to liven things up on the soccer team--and in Charlie's life. For the first time in his seventeen years, Charlie will learn how it feels to be a star, at least off the field. But Charlie discovers that even cool guys have problems as he embarks on an unforgettable, risk-filled journey from which there is no turning back.....
Price: $8.27
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Living Successfully with Screwed-Up People
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The Writer Got Screwed (but didn't have to): Guide to the Legal and Business Practices of Writing for the Entertainment Industry
An indispensable roadmap to success, The Writer Got Screwed is the first book to untangle the legal and business aspects of writing for the entertainment industry. It is for the young TV production assistant waiting for a big break, the executive with a treatment tucked away in a bottom drawer, the techie targeting the new field of cyberspace writing, or anyone who is inspired to write screenplays. Savvy Hollywood entertainment attorney Brooke Wharton decodes legal jargon, explains how to protect creative work, shows how to read between the lines of a contract, and advises how to avoid getting sued and screwed along the way. Useful resources, including a list of agencies, competitions, fellowships, internships, and legal organizations, make The Writer Got Screwed an essential part of every writer's tool chest. .
Price: $3.90
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What Would Kinky Do?: How to Unscrew a Screwed-Up World
Kinky Friedman, who would be our contemporary Will Rogers if Will Rogers had been Jewish, smoked cigars, and foolish enough to believe he could govern the great state of Texas, returns with this collection of hilariously raunchy, sometimes poignant, and always insightful essays. With fearless wit and wisdom born from many a late night’s experience, Kinky offers both pearls and cowpats that touch on life, death, and everything in between.
Considering the current predicament of our nation and the world at large, the question is, “What would Kinky do?” His answers invoke Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Judy Garland, George Bush, and other cultural touchstones; reflect on Texas etiquette, smoking in bars, mullet haircuts, immigration policy, and how Don Imus died for our sins; and advise on how to handle a nonstop talker on a long flight, how to deliver the perfect air kiss, and what to do when a redneck hollers “Hey y’all, watch this!”
Whether he’s “the new Mark Twain” (Southern Living), “in a class with Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, and, yes, Henny Youngman” (The New York Post), “a Texas legend” (President George W. Bush), or “the Mother Teresa of literature” (Willie Nelson), Kinky Friedman is an outrageously funny and uncommonly smart observer of our common predicament: life and what to do about it.
A little friendly advice from “Texas for Dummies”
*Get you some brontosaurus-foreskin boots and a big ol’ cowboy hat. Always remember, only two kinds of people can get away with wearing their hats indoors: cowboys and Jews. Try to be one of them.
*Get your hair fixed right. If you’re male, cut it into a “mullet” (short on the sides and top, long in the back---think Billy Ray Cyrus). If you’re female, make it as big as possible, with lots of teasing and hair spray. If you can hide a buck knife in there, you’re ready.
*Buy you a big ol’ pickup truck or a Cadillac. I myself drive a Yom Kippur Clipper. That’s a Jewish Cadillac---stops on a dime and picks it up.
*Don’t be surprised to find small plastic bags of giant dill pickles in local convenience stores.
*Everything goes better with picante sauce. No exceptions.
*Don’t tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares. .
Price: $11.87
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I, Goldstein: My Screwed Life
The key distinction between Al Goldstein and Hugh Hefner is that the last thing on earth Al would be caught doing is taking himself seriously. Otherwise, given the amount of trouble Al has seen, his autobiography reads more like a tragedy than the absurd, uproarious comedy it is. Like a fat tiger with nine lives, Al Goldstein constantly collides with his own mortality, yet has survived for 69 years, so far. Recently, after finally succeeding in cannibalizing his entire fortune, Goldstein toughed his way through a full year homeless on the streets of New York — merely his latest accomplishment. Al's list of priors involve two dozen arrests, four ex-wives, Mafia hit contracts, thousands of death threats, innumerable medical procedures, and constant legal attack throughout his 34 years publishing Screw. Al's blood enemies include politicians, D.A.'s, CEO's and religious officials. When Goldstein was acquitted on pornography charges in Wichita, Kansas, in 1978, he flew the entire jury to New York to celebrate at Plato's Retreat, and took them all out to dinner on the anniversary of his acquittal. This landmark victory thereafter insured the right of Americans to view buck-ass naked sex with or without redeeming social value. .
Price: $9.57
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Paradise Screwed: Selected Columns of Carl Hiaasen
Kick Ass gave Hiaasen fans a jump start. Now they get another slice of Hiaasen heaven in Paradise Screwed: a wide-ranging safari of South Florida's wildlife in its natural habitat-from fat-cat politicians to migrating mobsters, drowning Dolphins to stray chads. This collection of Miami Herald columns-written with a satiric wit and biting humor-offers a glimpse of the facts that inspire, and prove far stranger than, Hiaasen's frenetic fiction..
Price: $2.65
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All Screwed Up!: Turned Puzzles and Boxes Featuring Chased Threads
Hand-chasing wooden threads, the centuries-old technique of joining two pieces of a wooden object together, is the focus of this instructional guide to creating wooden puzzles and boxes with screw lids. Aimed at both hobbyists and professional woodworkers, the projects range from the simple to the complex and include Box Basics, the Wedding Ring Box, and In the Soup, an exasperating puzzle that involves removing a ball from a bowl. A thorough tutorial accompanied by numerous photographs guides woodworkers through the intricacies of the hand-chasing process. A discussion of wood choices, safety precautions, and tools, including lathes, chasing tools, and the all-important armrest, is included.
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Price: $15.63
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