Books about Sex starved from Amazon.com

In contrast to its tabloid title, The Sex-Starved Marriage offers candid and sensible counsel for couples with mismatched libidos. Seasoned sex therapist Michele Weiner-Davis skewers two stereotypes about sex in marriage. First, she jettisons the idea that husbands are hot and wives are not, giving examples of "low-desire" men in her practice. Next, she upends the longstanding model of sexual response and advises readers: "Just do it. Desire is a decision. Once the low-interest partner allows him/herself to be touched and aroused, this will trigger a strong desire to continue being sexual." The strength of her approach to the causes of sexual stalemate lies in her insights about the struggles of both partners. Her suggestions (how to break the ice, how to court your partner, nag busting, and the Hallmark solution) are not gimmicky and are presented as techniques for couples, not individuals. Weakened only by a final chapter--one that discloses too many details about the author's marriage--this perceptive book will inspire couples to add heat and light to their marriage. --Barbara Mackoff.
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In 2003, bestselling author and relationship expert Michele Weiner Davis' groundbreaking book, The Sex-Starved Marriage described the problems that occur in marriage when one spouse is vastly more interested in sex than the other and more importantly, what the couple could do to fix things. The book created quite a stir, but no one expected what happened next.

Weiner Davis was flooded with e-mails, letters, and phone calls from women, not with "headaches" and other predictable excuses for avoiding sex, but from women who were desperately unhappy because their husbands weren't the least bit interested in sex. Nothing these women said or did got their men to understand the pain and isolation that comes from a sexual void, and despite heartfelt pleas, they were unable to convince their husbands to seek professional help. Add to this the unspoken taboo about discussing low libido in men, and these women were left to believe that they were the only ones dealing with this problem.

If this sounds like your situation, Weiner Davis wants to tell you that you are not alone, and it is not your fault: there is a whole host of reasons why your husband might be experiencing low desire. Although Weiner Davis explains reasons men lose interest in sex--biological issues, personal troubles, and relationship problems--she's convinced that understanding the cause of a problem won't make your sex life any juicier; doing something about it will. The Sex-Starved Wife gives you the tools you need to present the information in the book so that your husband will not become defensive. You'll even learn methods for overcoming sexual dysfunctions such as performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, and effective ways for dealing with pornography or infidelity. If you and your spouse need additional support, Weiner Davis offers concrete advice on how to get your man to visit his doctor or seek other professional help.

When it comes to marriage, Weiner Davis has seen it all. She knows how important loving, satisfying sex is to a healthy marriage. The straightforward, psychobabble-free advice in this book will help you create the intimacy and connection for which you've been longing..
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If you're afraid of "turning into one of those couples who go into therapy because they bicker all the time,"[p. 120] search no more for marital advice. According to bestselling author Kirshenbaum, the ever-increasing divorce rates in the U.S. aren't due to the often-reported irreconcilable differences, but rather a lack of "quality time" together. As overused as that term is, Kirshenbaum (Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay) persuasively argues that the American state of matrimony is all too often the victim of what she calls "Murphy's law" of marriage: "The less time you have together, the more things go wrong in your relationship."[p. 3]

Her prescription for finding "abundant love" in a world that's bursting with beeping Palm Pilots is pretty simple. "Successful weekend-marriage couples ruthlessly put their marriage first. Tough nuggies to everyone else." [p.147] she warns that such prioritizing may tick off some family members, as she recommends that married folks cut way back on socializing with friends and even visiting aging relatives, if those visits can be implicated in a lack of couple time.

Some of her other advice is more palatable. She recommends that couples never keep joint checking accounts, as they're often a major source of stress and arguments. Instead, one spouse should be responsible for paying the mortgage, and the other the rest of the bills, if those amounts are roughly equal. Kirshenbaum also says that it's best to ignore each other for a while when you're both finally at home at dinnertime, so as to avoid the "negative energy" of venting about the day's stresses. Using Kirshenbaum's many "guerrilla tactics" for preserving (or resurrecting) romance, couples may very well find they have "less time for anger, more time for love." --Erica Jorgensen.
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