Books about Flatulence from Amazon.com

“Fascists,” “Brownshirts,” “jackbooted stormtroopers”—such are the insults typically hurled at conservatives by their liberal opponents. Calling someone a fascist is the fastest way to shut them up, defining their views as beyond the political pale. But who are the real fascists in our midst?

Liberal Fascism offers a startling new perspective on the theories and practices that define fascist politics. Replacing conveniently manufactured myths with surprising and enlightening research, Jonah Goldberg reminds us that the original fascists were really on the left, and that liberals from Woodrow Wilson to FDR to Hillary Clinton have advocated policies and principles remarkably similar to those of Hitler's National Socialism and Mussolini's Fascism.

Contrary to what most people think, the Nazis were ardent socialists (hence the term “National socialism”). They believed in free health care and guaranteed jobs. They confiscated inherited wealth and spent vast sums on public education. They purged the church from public policy, promoted a new form of pagan spirituality, and inserted the authority of the state into every nook and cranny of daily life. The Nazis declared war on smoking, supported abortion, euthanasia, and gun control. They loathed the free market, provided generous pensions for the elderly, and maintained a strict racial quota system in their universities—where campus speech codes were all the rage. The Nazis led the world in organic farming and alternative medicine. Hitler was a strict vegetarian, and Himmler was an animal rights activist.

Do these striking parallels mean that today’s liberals are genocidal maniacs, intent on conquering the world and imposing a new racial order? Not at all. Yet it is hard to deny that modern progressivism and classical fascism shared the same intellectual roots. We often forget, for example, that Mussolini and Hitler had many admirers in the United States. W.E.B. Du Bois was inspired by Hitler's Germany, and Irving Berlin praised Mussolini in song. Many fascist tenets were espoused by American progressives like John Dewey and Woodrow Wilson, and FDR incorporated fascist policies in the New Deal.

Fascism was an international movement that appeared in different forms in different countries, depending on the vagaries of national culture and temperament. In Germany, fascism appeared as genocidal racist nationalism. In America, it took a “friendlier,” more liberal form. The modern heirs of this “friendly fascist” tradition include the New York Times, the Democratic Party, the Ivy League professoriate, and the liberals of Hollywood. The quintessential Liberal Fascist isn't an SS storm trooper; it is a female grade school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore.

These assertions may sound strange to modern ears, but that is because we have forgotten what fascism is. In this angry, funny, smart, contentious book, Jonah Goldberg turns our preconceptions inside out and shows us the true meaning of Liberal Fascism.

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We hold this truth to be self-evident: farting makes kids laugh. Walter, an apologetic-looking dog adopted from the pound, passes gas morning, noon, and night, no matter what he eats, whether it's a 25-pound bag of low-fart dog biscuits, cat food, or fried chicken On the bright side, "If Uncle Irv let one slip, he just went and stood near Walter." When Father reaches the limit of his patience with Walter's flatulence, he decides the pooch is once again pound-bound, despite Betty and Billy's pleading. Poor Walter knows his days are numbered and "He resolved to hold in his farts forever." That very night, two burglars break into Walter's family's house, and (you can see where this is going) Walter gasses the burglars with a "hideous cloud" that forces them to drop their loot and run into the clutches of the police officers, "choking and gasping for air." The next morning Father and Mother discover Walter has saved the day--or at least their silverware and VCR. "And so the family learned to live with Walter, the hero dog. And that is the end of our tail." (Or is it? Fans will be pleased to discover the next book Walter the Farting Dog: Trouble at the Yard Sale.) Audrey Colman's highly stylized illustrations, imbued with a surreal, Monty Pythonesque collage look, are as absurdly comical as this silly story that is purely powered by natural gas. (Ages 5 to 8) --Karin Snelson.
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Walter the Farting Dog is now a hero of the high seas!

Everybody is having a great time on a cruise . . . until a terrible odor permeates the ship. All signs point to Walter, and so he is first banished down below, with the stinky cheeses, and then into a lifeboat to float behind the ocean liner. Then catastrophe strikes! How long will the great cruise ship and its frightened passengers be marooned on the high seas? About as long as it takes Walter to digest that cheese!.
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Walter's family is holding a yard sale, but there are few customers Walter, farting contentedly near Father, wonders why. When a man offers ten dollars for Walter, Father readily agrees. Walter wonders why. Walter is sad to leave his family behind, but relieved to discover that his new owner is a clown. Walter figures he will help the clown bring joy to children on their birthdays. But the clown has a dastardly plot: he will use Walter's gas to inflate balloons and then pop them to stun guards during bank robberies. Will Walter turn to the dark side? Of course not! He comes out a hero is reunited with his family by doing what he does best..
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Across the world there are many an artiste -

But none so outrageous as Joe, the Fartiste

The Fartiste doesn't sing, he doesn't dance, and he doesn't act. But that doesn't stop him from taking the stage at Paris's famed Moulin Rouge, where he performs his much-loved act for celebrities and royalty with the funniest talent of all - Joe is the man who has perfected the art of the fart.

Kathleen Krull and Paul Brewer bring new wind to their mostly true story about "the man who made his pants dance," which is perfectly matched with Boris Kulikov's explosive art..
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Did you know that James Joyce liked to smell his wife's farts? That some fish communicate by expelling gas? Or that the Pentagon is developing weapons of mass olfactory destruction (WMOD)? From flatulent dogs and fart fetishists to poot-proof underwear and anti-stink pills, eminent fartologist Jim Dawson sniffs out the latest and greatest fart stories of the past century. Plumbing the far reaches of politics, pop culture, science, and literature, this stinker of a bathroom book will leave you gasping for air..
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