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Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
People joke that the start of a couple's marriage means the end of their sex life. David Schnarch, a sex therapist praised by Pepper Schwartz, uses epiphany-laden conversations taken directly from his own marriage and the married couples he sees in practice to help readers defy the myth that marriages are necessarily passionless, and instead prove that the longer a couple has been together, the higher the fireworks can fly. It's especially aimed at older couples who, Schnarch says, are self-actualized and therefore better able to handle intimacy than younger partners. "People have difficulty with intimacy because they're supposed to," he says, and goes on in this inspiring book to combine elements of marriage therapy and sex therapy to bring plenty of practical, fresh ideas to the crowd of mostly vapid relationship books. (Note that despite its title, it's for any emotionally committed couple, not just married folks.) Schnarch says that a man is more likely to let a relationship suffer in order to hold on to his sense of self, while a woman is more apt to let her identity suffer to help strengthen it. Schnarch gives explicit tips on how to alter this pattern, an essential step he calls "differentiation." He also explains why compromise isn't always the best route to take when conflicts arise. The couples profiled here deal with the usual suspects: uneven sexual desire and initiation, battles about oral sex, self-image problems, the "boondoggle" of trust (both of one's self and one's partner), and the specter of divorce. Instead of focusing on each client's weaknesses, Schnarch teaches how to find inner strength and resilience that can be used to reaffirm a relationship and reignite sex. William H. Masters of Masters and Johnson fame calls this book "a classic," and no wonder. --Erica Jorgensen.
Price: $8.49
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Picture Perfect
Jodi Picoult's novels have been hailed as "engrossing" ( People) and "addictively readable" ( Entertainment Weekly). Now, the author of Salem Falls and Plain Truth examines the fault lines of a troubled marriage in Picture Perfect-an "unfailingly intelligent ..undeniably literary psychological drama."( Booklist) "Picoult writes with an all-knowing and piercing eye. Hers is an important book from a talented writer we hope to hear from again and again." ( Library Journal).
Price: $7.00
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Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On -- Together or Apart
In the aftermath of infidelity, couples often struggle with emotional turmoil and sometimes make decisions they later regret. Getting Past the Affair helps them overcome the initial shock, understand what happened and why, and think clearly about their best interests before they act. Based on the combined insight of leading marital therapists and researchers, this unique program encourages couples and individuals to take things one step at a time, whether they stay together or part ways. Research shows that roughly two-thirds of those who use the approach find it significantly beneficial, making it the only program to have been empirically tested--and proven--to help partners restore trust and rebuild their marriage after an affair. Even in cases where reconciliation is impossible, this compassionate, insightful book emphasizes ways for readers to recover personally and avoid emotional scars so they can pursue healthier relationships in the future. .
Price: $9.31
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The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection (Basic Principles Into Practice Series)
Since its original publication in 1996, this volume has been a helpful guide to therapists in the practice of emotionally focused therapy This second edition will address the many changes in the field of couples therapy, including updated research results linked to clinical intervention and new information on using EFT to address depression and PTSD. A new section covers the growth of couples therapy as a field and its overall relevance to the mental health field, accompanied by coverage of how recent research into the nature of marital distress is consonant with EFT. Other new features are a section on EFT and feminism, as well as a section on cultural competence for the EFT therapist. Written by a leading authority on emotionally focused couples and marital therapy, this second edition will be an up-to-date reference on all aspects of EFT and its uses for mental health professionals..
Price: $26.91
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The High Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, & Validation
Some couples need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When out-of-control emotions are the root cause of problems in a relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. What these "high-conflict" couples need is help regulating the emotions that provoke the "escape or win" mode of interaction that has come to define them. In this book, a noted expert in the use of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) in couples' therapy adapts this powerful set of emotion regulation tools. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate conflict situations before they have a chance to flare into serious fights. Other techniques help partners in a relationship disclose their personal fears and vulnerabilities and validate one another's experiences. Ultimately, you'll learn how to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and how to find true acceptance and closeness with your partner..
Price: $9.49
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And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives
Congratulations! You have a new baby. Don’t forget you also have a marriage. Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. In And Baby Makes Three, Love Lab™ experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills needed to maintain healthy marriages, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood by: • Focusing on intimacy and romance • Replacing an atmosphere of criticism and irritability with one of appreciation • Preventing postpartum depression • Creating a home environment that nurtures physical, emotional, and mental health, as well as cognitive and behavioral development for your baby Complete with exercises that separate the “master” from the “disaster” couples, And Baby Makes Three helps new parents positively manage the strain that comes along with their bundle of joy..
Price: $7.98
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How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together
Susan Page's groundbreaking approach to relationships gives readers the tools and encouragement they need to bring positive changes to their relationship, even when their partners are unwilling to do the work. Based on the premise that what you do in a relationship makes changes faster than anything you discuss, Page introduces the concept of "Loving Leadership" and offers fourteen empowering and doable strategies for recapturing the positive feelings, including how to: Overcome resentment and move beyond blameSolve major problems--one at a timeRecapture lost intimacy Step-by-step, Page demonstrates that with tangible goals, and new ways of thinking, one partner can bring new levels of harmony and love to a relationship..
Price: $5.45
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The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman' Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go
In this groundbreaking follow-up to her bestselling books The Verbally Abusive Relationship and Controlling People, Patricia Evans goes beyond identifying verbally abusive behaviors to prescribing a course of action for both victim and abuser. Coupling stories of abused women and abusive men from her own case studies, Evans gives you the tools you need to transform your relationship. Most important, she assures you that such a transformation is possible-given the right circumstances. Evans also helps you determine if your abuser really has changed-or if he's merely creating the illusion of change. And if he hasn't changed, Evans helps you decide whether it's time to leave the relationship-and what to do when it is. Combining practical applications and the latest clinical research with her trademark support and assurance, Evans shows you how to empower yourself, improve your relationship, and change your life for the better..
Price: $3.30
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The Relationship Rescue Workbook
Most Oprah viewers are well aware of Dr. Phil's book Relationship Rescue, which presents a seven-step program for salvaging troubled relationships. McGraw would be the first to tell you that watching Oprah or reading about his program are all fine and good, but if you really want to rescue your relationship, you've got to do the work--which is where this excellent workbook comes in. Loaded with probing questions, exercises, and fill-in-the-blank "self-tests," this four-part book is probably more effective than having a televised session with McGraw on Oprah. (For those who haven't seen the tearful relationship breakthroughs, be assured that McGraw gets results.) Don't expect to approach this workbook as if you were whizzing through a magazine quiz. Like the relationship that you are trying to revive, this workbook presents a big commitment. (There's no timeline suggested, but judging from the amount of work involved, common sense says to give it at least a month.) McGraw also urges readers to use this workbook in tandem with Relationship Rescue, even though there are similar exercises in both books. The hardcover book is geared toward helping readers identify "what's wrong and begin the process of restoration," he explains. The workbook helps readers begin the self-scrutinizing work that leads to change. Throughout this 287-page workbook, McGraw asks readers to be brutally honest while they examine the beliefs, behaviors, resentments, and expectations that they bring to the relationship. The four-part structure echoes the structure of his original book, starting with "Recover Your Core" and finishing with "Aim for the Best." Some of the exercises seem predictable, such as "list and describe five things that made you fall in love with your partner." Most of the time, though, the requests are profound and suggest a huge impact on a relationship. For example: - "I am 100 percent accountable for my life, so I will take a responsibility for bringing a win/win spirit to the table day after day. I can show my optimism by..."
- "My partner does not deserve the effort I am about to invest. I deserve it, and our relationship deserves it. I will take the respect I have for our relationship and exercise it toward my partner. Some simple ways I can demonstrate the respect I hope to be shown myself are..."
This workbook won't change your partner or offer you relationship perfection, warns McGraw. The goal is "to reconnect with your own best self" (which is the foundation of McGraw's couples work). Nor is there a big prize upon completing the workbook. Instead, readers will find a personal letter from McGraw, emphasizing what's already been discovered--relationships aren't maintained and nurtured by a one-shot course, but rather by a strong commitment to one's highest self. It may sound anticlimactic, but as so many Oprah guests are likely to attest, it really works. --Gail Hudson.
Price: $5.00
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