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Dear Reader:

In a previous life, before the time of Plum, I wrote twelve short romance novels. Red-hot screwball comedies, each and every one of them. Nine of these stories were originally published by the Loveswept line between the years 1988 and 1992. All immediately went out of print and could be found only at used bookstores and yard sales.

I'm excited to tell you that those nine stories are now being re-released by HarperCollins. Naughty Neighbor is the eighth in the lineup, and it's presented here in almost original form. Usually when I edit these books I do some modernizing. For instance, I change VHS to DVD, and roller skates to Rollerblades, and sticks of gum are now pieces of gum. I do this because the books were meant to be contemporary (as opposed to historical), and I don't want the reader to have a time disconnect. In the beginning of the original Naughty Neighbor, my heroine throws a handheld phone into the toilet, and the next morning she goes into the bathroom and sees the "slim silver antenna caught between the toilet lid and seat." Okay, so most phones don't have extended antennas anymore, but I just loved the image . . . so I left it in. And I don't know how many women wear front-closure bras anymore, but that got left in, too.

Naughty Neighbor is probably the most romancey of all the Loveswepts I wrote, but there's still a small mystery to unravel. Louisa Brannigan is a no-nonsense, hardworking press secretary, fighting her way to the top of Capitol Hill, with no help from her annoying neighbor, Pete Streeter. He receives phone calls all night long, he steals her morning paper, he thinks jeans are formal wear, and worst of all he's involved Louisa in the disappearance of a pig. So this is the story of a pig in Witness Protection and love being found by a workaholic woman and a fun-loving man who makes terrible pots of coffee.

Enjoy!

Janet Evanovich

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By night, he becomes a mysterious stranger devoted only to her pleasureand discovers shes hiding a naughty little secret. After divorcing her never-home husband, Lauren Southall plucked up her courage, dusted off her power suits, and returned to corporate life. Two years later, there's just one six-foot three, testosterone-packed problem: her ex-husband's good friend and her current boss, Noah Reeves. Lauren aches for him. No other man will do. But she cant possibly measure up to the silicone-packed professional cheerleaders he dates. So she hides her desire behind a professional persona and fantasizes. For ten years, Noah Reeves has waited to make Lauren his. Once her divorce was final, he tracked down and hired the brilliant, dedicated woman. But when he's with her, it isn't spreadsheets and profit margins on his brain. Problem is, she's never seen him as anything but her ex-husbands pal. Now that she's finally a free woman and with him 40+ hours a week, well... he'd love to persuade her to throw in her nights and weekends. Noah decides to romance her by day. By night, he becomes a mysterious stranger devoted only to her pleasureand discovers shes hiding a naughty little secret of her own. Warning, this title contains the following: explicit sex, graphic language.
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Somewhere, somebody is having more fun than you are. Or so everyone believes. Peter Sagal, a mild-mannered, Harvard-educated NPR host—the man who put the second "L" in "vanilla"—decided to find out if it's true.

From strip clubs to gambling halls to swingers clubs to porn sets—and then back to the strip clubs, but only because he left his glasses there—Sagal explores exactly what the sinful folk do, how much they pay for the privilege, and exactly how they got those funny red marks. He hosts a dinner for three of the smartest porn stars in the world, asks the floor manager at the oldest casino in Vegas how to beat the house, and indulges in molecular cuisine at the finest restaurant in the country. Meet liars and rich people who don't think consumption is a disease, encounter the most spectacular view ever seen from a urinal, and say hello to Nina Hartley, the only porn star who can discuss Nietzsche while strangers smack her butt.

With a sharp wit, a remarkable eye for detail, and the carefree insouciance that can only come from not having any idea what he's getting into, Sagal proves to be the perfect guide to sinful behavior. What happens in Vegas—and in less glamorous places—is all laid out in these pages, a modern version of Dante's Inferno, except with more jokes.

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We all know the story of how Eve was created from Adam's rib. But what if, perhaps, "rib" was a mistranslation and the body part she was really created from was Adam's penis bone? This would explain why human males don't have such a bone, unlike other male mammals That's only one of many surprising and fun biblical twists readers will encounter in The Uncensored Bible. Here readers will learn that King David swore like a sailor, mandrakes were the biblical equivalent of Viagra^®, Cain was depressed, and Joseph's "coat of many colors" might have actually been a dress (which may explain why his brothers picked on him).

Authors Kaltner, McKenzie, and Kilpatrick bring some of the most outrageous speculations about the scriptures to light—all based on legitimate scholarship—revealing a stranger, bawdier side of the Good Book. The Uncensored Bible is a shocking, hilarious, and thought-provoking collection of the most recent, compelling, and racy interpretations of the Bible from the newest voices of Bible scholarship.

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Couples going into the wild usually expect to tough it out, not to get it on. But people also go outside to seek adventure, excitement, mystery, and spontaneity-some of the same qualities also found in great sex.

Sex in a Tent is a mostly fun, sometimes serious guide to love, sex, and adventure in the great outdoors In this penetrating look at what really goes on behind the tent flap, expert camper and outdoor love-maker Michelle Waitzman reveals everything you need to know to fulfill your wild fantasies.

Like an outdoor guide with her own special territory, Michelle has years of experience "playing the field" in the backcountry, and this book is full of her tricks. Showing you the best positions for campers (the tent tango), to recipes for a romantic meal in a Ziploc bag, to how to look and feel sexy when you're wearing grimy zip-off hiking shorts and haven't bathed in days (hint: zip 'em off and go skinny-dipping), she inspires you to leave behind the boring bed sheets and crawl into a tantalizing tent.

For those who don't fancy a boink in the backcountry, this book covers other types of outdoor adventures for inspired coupling, such as paddling to your own fantasy island, making car camping the ultimate drive-in, or turning the woods into your outdoor bedroom.

Filled with illustrations, positions, games, tricks, and stories from dozens of outdoor lovers, this book will expose you to orgasmic opportunities for love, sex, and adventure in the great outdoors.

20 original illustrations with playful and inspiring ideas for outdoor lovemaking
Dozens of tell-all tales and suggestions from experienced outdoor adventurers of all kinds
Useful advice on how to put the spark back in your sex life and become a closer couple while enjoying nature au naturel

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Like her other titles, Laurie Notaro's An Idiot Girl's Christmas is a bon bon of a book--one that is so honestly observed that, if you are at work, you will find yourself sneaking in time to read it at your desk in the middle of the day, snorting with laughter There are few writers who can nail the particular humiliation of, say, buying a box of tampons in a crowded store while a small cadre of punks makes unfortunate jokes behind you. Or who can let loose the funny fury of wrong-headed Christmas gifts, such as her mother's peculiar affinity for food-scented candles:

Always on my list is a scrumptious delicacy from my mother's favorite Wax Candle Baked Goods store. I don't know where my mother found a wax store that specializes in baked-goods and pastry candles, but she did. Good job Mom!…It's the perfect diet food, because biting into one is like biting into Jennifer Lopez's double-decker ass at Madam Tussaud's, kind of like sinking your teeth into a thick, dense bar of Irish Spring--without the flavor.

With some new and some best-of material (the venerable Jingle Bell piece about a Barney-obsessed neighbor is here), this volume covers many a family holiday at the Notaro household, with an amusing assortment of ill-adjusted siblings, in-laws, and that grand dame of dysfunction and buzz kill, Notaro's mother. Or at least the ever-so-lightly fictionalized version of Notaro's mother, who plays the foil to Notaro's perpetually underfunded, tortured, and sweetly Machiavellian self. The palpable and universal mother-daughter tension in their relationship is best mined in the chapter, "Oh Holy Night," or "The Year I Ruined Christmas," in which the n'er do well's daughter purse is lost, found, and returned home with a tire track across it and without Notaro herself:

"I was dead?" I asked my mother eagerly, trying hard to fight the urge to jump up and down in glee. "Oh my God. I can't believe it. This is fantastic. Did you cry?"

"Well, almost," my mother confessed. "But then again there was the relief of getting the second use out of your prom dress."

In the end, wit and clever revenge on dull party guests trump the rich, thin, and conventionally pretty girls every time. Notaro's Idiot Girl's Christmas is a holiday worth celebrating. --Megan Halverson.
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Hooray for Captain Underpants! Everybody's favorite waistband warrior is back, ready to fight for Truth, Justice, and all that is Pre-Shrunk and Cottony If you've read Dav Pilkey's first two comic epics, The Adventures of Captain Underpants and Captain Underpants and the Attack of the Talking Toilets, you already know the brave Captain is really just crabby old Principal Krupp, hypnotized into becoming the world's greatest superhero every time someone snaps their fingers. And of course you know the trouble-making hypnotists are none other than Jerome Horwitz Elementary School's two most notorious tricksters, George and Harold ("We rule!" "Me, too!").

Well, George and Harold--surprise, surprise--are at it again. The cranky lunch ladies quit after George and Harold fool them into baking super-volcanic krispy kupcakes that flood the school with gigantic green globs o' goo. Mr. Krupp finds replacements and fast, but he unwittingly hires the tentacled alien trio of Zorx, Klax, and Jennifer in disguise! Will they turn everyone in school into evil zombie nerds? Can George and Harold save the world before it's too late? All seems lost until the diabolical Zorx snaps his... um, tentacles in front of Mr. Krupp, and the power of wedgies comes to the rescue once again.

Captain Underpants's third outing is better than ever, with patented Flip-o-Rama animation and wacky bonus comics like "Captain Underpants--Wedgie Wars" and "Captain Underpants and the Night of the Living Lunch Ladies." (Ages 8 to 12) --Paul Hughes.
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Have you ever felt the delicious thrill of lying across a lover's lap and getting spanked good and hard? Or been the one doing the spanking, enjoying the sting as your hand collides with your lover's ass? Or have you simply dreamed about the gorgeous heated generated by a truly perfect spanking? If so, this book's for you! Naughty Spanking Stories From A to Z has it ALL, from disobedient students and stern mistresses to kinky cops and naughty captives, to men and women who simply love getting spanked!

With stories by acclaimed writers such as Kate Dominic, Michael Hemmingson, Tsaurah Litzky, Bill Noble, Thomas Roche, Simon Sheppard, Lisabet Sarai, Sage Vivant, and Michele Zipp, plus a daring foreword by noted sex educator Violet Blue, this book will have you itching to bend over and bare your bottom!.
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