Books about Self parody from Amazon.com

“Fascists,” “Brownshirts,” “jackbooted stormtroopers”—such are the insults typically hurled at conservatives by their liberal opponents. Calling someone a fascist is the fastest way to shut them up, defining their views as beyond the political pale. But who are the real fascists in our midst?

Liberal Fascism offers a startling new perspective on the theories and practices that define fascist politics. Replacing conveniently manufactured myths with surprising and enlightening research, Jonah Goldberg reminds us that the original fascists were really on the left, and that liberals from Woodrow Wilson to FDR to Hillary Clinton have advocated policies and principles remarkably similar to those of Hitler's National Socialism and Mussolini's Fascism.

Contrary to what most people think, the Nazis were ardent socialists (hence the term “National socialism”). They believed in free health care and guaranteed jobs. They confiscated inherited wealth and spent vast sums on public education. They purged the church from public policy, promoted a new form of pagan spirituality, and inserted the authority of the state into every nook and cranny of daily life. The Nazis declared war on smoking, supported abortion, euthanasia, and gun control. They loathed the free market, provided generous pensions for the elderly, and maintained a strict racial quota system in their universities—where campus speech codes were all the rage. The Nazis led the world in organic farming and alternative medicine. Hitler was a strict vegetarian, and Himmler was an animal rights activist.

Do these striking parallels mean that today’s liberals are genocidal maniacs, intent on conquering the world and imposing a new racial order? Not at all. Yet it is hard to deny that modern progressivism and classical fascism shared the same intellectual roots. We often forget, for example, that Mussolini and Hitler had many admirers in the United States. W.E.B. Du Bois was inspired by Hitler's Germany, and Irving Berlin praised Mussolini in song. Many fascist tenets were espoused by American progressives like John Dewey and Woodrow Wilson, and FDR incorporated fascist policies in the New Deal.

Fascism was an international movement that appeared in different forms in different countries, depending on the vagaries of national culture and temperament. In Germany, fascism appeared as genocidal racist nationalism. In America, it took a “friendlier,” more liberal form. The modern heirs of this “friendly fascist” tradition include the New York Times, the Democratic Party, the Ivy League professoriate, and the liberals of Hollywood. The quintessential Liberal Fascist isn't an SS storm trooper; it is a female grade school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore.

These assertions may sound strange to modern ears, but that is because we have forgotten what fascism is. In this angry, funny, smart, contentious book, Jonah Goldberg turns our preconceptions inside out and shows us the true meaning of Liberal Fascism.

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Price: $15.55 [Notify me when price goes down.]

As a hypochondriac, you've had to satisfy your need for self-diagnosis with medical reference materials written for the masses until now. Dedicated entirely to your unique perspective on health, this revolutionary book outlines the world's worst maladies, conveniently organized according to your symptoms (real or imagined). You're going to die of something--why not choose an ailment that's rare and hard to pronounce?.
Price: $13.68 [Notify me when price goes down.]

The prevaricating pros who helped students glide through seven years of college in The CollegeHumor Guide to College are back to show post-grads how to turn life into an "Easy A" by, well, faking it. From sounding like an MBA to bribing the ma”tre d' to acting sensitive post-sex, here is everything aspiring equivocators need to know to B.S. their way to success in the real world. As the authors remind readers: "The important thing isn't who you are; it's who other people think you are." With this poseur's bible in hand, a generation is poised to go forth and fake it..
Price: $2.96 [Notify me when price goes down.]

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Price: $4.95 [Notify me when price goes down.]

Jane is in real estate.

Today is Saturday

Jane has an open house.

She must schlep the Open House signs to the car.

See Jane schlep.

Schlep, Jane. Schlep.

Schlep, schlep, schlep.

In text that captures the unque rhythms of the original Dick and Jane readers, and in 35 all-new illustrations, a story unfolds in which Dick and Jane--hero and heroine of the classic books for children that generations of Americans have used when learning to read--manage to express shades of feeling and nuances of meaning that ordinary English just can't deliver. How? By speaking Yiddish, employing terms that convey an attitude--part plucky self-assertion, part ironic fatalism. When Dick schmoozes, when Jane kvetches, when their children fress noodles at a Chinese restaurant, the clash of cultures produces genuine hilarity..
Price: $4.99 [Notify me when price goes down.]

At last, a courageous expose of one of society's most neglected minority groups..
Price: $0.79 [Notify me when price goes down.]

We've all eaten their captivating dust from afar, wondering how they manage to smoke, chat on the phone, and change lanes all at the same time. Maniac drivers make it look so easy as they cut us off, but now, for the first time, their secrets are available to the rest of us. Whether you're a grandma or just plain sensible, you'll be driving offensively, honking your horn, and gunning it through late yellows in no time.

Learn how to:

*Choose the perfect maniac vehicle and customize it for maximum intimidation, vision blockage, and gas guzzling

*Cut across five lanes in just one block

*Get over your conscience and consideration of others

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Price: $9.39 [Notify me when price goes down.]

Tonight, by moonlight, I will rake my
leaves into my neighbor's yard.
Had it up to here with sugary-sweet affirmation books that ignore the pleasures of resentment and mean-spiritedness? Tired of the self-helpaholics who've been sipping too much chicken soup? Then this book is for you.
Here are 365 splendidly bitter daily meditations that will appeal to the cynic in you. Nowhere else will you find such odes to self-absorption as:
·Today I will equate material possessions with love.
·Today I will taunt others until they cry, then tell them they are too sensitive.
·Today I will make a new friend based solely on how he or she can further my career.
·Today I will respect my need to sabotage everyone else's success..
Price: $5.25 [Notify me when price goes down.]

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Price: $7.80 [Notify me when price goes down.]

Here we are in 2007 (or YOLD 3173), forty-eight, or forty-nine years after Mal2 and Omar's Discordian revelations at the hands of the Goddess Eris. Principia Discordia has been republished a number of times over the years, but not since 1976 has it been available to the general public in hardback format. Synaptyclypse Generator is proud to present this special edition of the legendary counter-culture classic, the bible of Discordianism. We have spared no cabbage-power in preparing this wonderful hardback edition for your enjoyment and enlightenment. We have done the best we could have hoped to ensure a quality and cherishable version of Principia Discordia. For this edition, we have included Kerry W. Thornley's introduction to the 1991 Illuminet Press edition and Robert Anton Wilson's Loompanics Unlimited introduction. We include all the material from the last Loompanics printing and any odd bits left over from the Illuminet version. We have closing 'Outroductions' by none other than the Rev.Dr Jon Swabey of Apocrypha Discordia fame and 'crackpot historian,' Adam Gorightly, author of The Prankster and the Conspiracy, The Story of Kerry Thornley and How He Met Oswald and Inspired the Counterculture. It also features the most sumptuously gorgeous cover that any edition has ever had..
Price: $19.75 [Notify me when price goes down.]